ok so today i was about to demolish an entire bag of doritos and i stopped and asked myself wait am i actually hungry?? and the answer was no i was just anxious about a work email. this is the first time ive ever caught myself BEFORE eating and i literally dont know what to do with this information. like now what do i do with the anxiety if i cant eat it away

07:08 PM

does anyone else have specific PLACES that trigger them?? like im totally fine at home but the SECOND i get to my office something in my brain goes ok time to eat. theres a vending machine on my floor and i swear it whispers my name. i had 3 candy bars today before lunch. THREE. i wasnt even hungry once. its like my body goes on autopilot the moment i walk through that door

12:08 AM

every single time my ex and i fight about custody stuff i end up at mcdonalds drive thru ordering like im feeding a family of 6. its like clockwork. argument happens, i get in the car, autopilot to mcdonalds. i ate 2 big macs a large fry and a mcflurry last night and then felt physically sick AND emotionally worse. how is this still happening to me im a grown adult

07:08 AM

everyone talks about sad eating and stress eating but does anyone else emotionally eat when theyre HAPPY?? like i got a promotion today and my first instinct was to celebrate with food. got good news? eat. bad news? eat. bored? eat. its like every emotion leads to food for me and i never realized happy eating was emotional eating too until my therapist pointed it out today and my mind is kinda blown

09:08 PM

im so tired of the monday reset cycle. every sunday night i plan out my perfect week of eating, meal prep everything, feel super motivated. by wednesday something stressful happens and i emotionally eat through it. then i think well the week is ruined might as well eat whatever until monday and start fresh. rinse and repeat for literally 4 years. FOUR YEARS of starting over every monday. how do i break this cycle because clearly motivation isnt the answer

06:08 PM

can someone please explain to my brain that eating 800 calories all day and then binging 3000 calories at night is WORSE than just eating normally throughout the day?? i KNOW this logically but every morning i wake up feeling guilty about last nights binge and think ok today ill be really strict to make up for it. then by 8pm im so hungry and deprived that i eat everything in sight. literally every single day. im so exhausted

08:08 AM

the worst part about emotional eating for me is the secrecy. i eat totally normal around other people and then go home and eat alone in the dark like some kind of food gremlin. i have a whole stash my wife doesnt know about. i eat in the car and throw away wrappers at gas stations so she wont see them. the shame of hiding it is almost worse than the eating itself. this is the first time ive ever told anyone this and im literally shaking typing it

12:15 PM

just had a realization that hit me like a truck. all my food rules that i thought were keeping me healthy are actually making my emotional eating WORSE. no carbs after 6pm. no sugar ever. no eating unless ive worked out. no seconds ever. these rules create so much anxiety around food that when i inevitably break one i spiral into screw it mode and eat everything. the rules arent protecting me theyre the problem??

02:08 AM

ate an entire pint of ice cream last night because i was lonely and now i feel like the worst person alive. the guilt is so heavy i can barely function today. i keep thinking about all the calories and how i ruined my progress and how ill never change. why do i keep doing this to myself. i literally hate myself right now and i know thats not helpful but its how i feel

08:15 PM

seeing people in this group talk about their progress makes me happy for them but also kinda makes me feel worse about myself?? like some people figured this out in 6 months and im TWO YEARS in and still emotionally eating multiple times a week. am i just worse at this than everyone else. is something fundamentally wrong with me that other people can recover and i cant. im trying so hard and its not enough

05:15 PM

i had 11 good days in a row. ELEVEN. thats the longest streak ive ever had. then today happened. bad day at work, fight with my sister, came home and ate through the pantry like a tornado. and now my brain is telling me those 11 days dont count anymore. like they never happened. like im back to zero. please someone tell me thats not how this works because it FEELS like thats how this works

05:15 AM

my therapist told me to make a list of things i can do instead of emotional eating when a craving hits. so far i have: go for a walk, call a friend, journal, take a bath. but honestly in the MOMENT when im stressed and standing in front of the fridge at 10pm none of those things sound remotely appealing compared to leftover pasta. like walking sounds like punishment when im stressed not comfort. does anyone have coping strategies that actually feel GOOD in the moment?

12:15 PM

something wild happened today. i emotionally ate after a really bad phone call with my mom (our relationship is... complicated). but instead of spiraling into guilt and shame i just... sat with it? i thought ok that happened. i was hurting and i reached for food. thats not ideal but its also not the end of the world. and then i ate a normal dinner. NO PUNISHMENT. no skipping meals tomorrow. no extra cardio. just... moved on?? is this what self compassion feels like because it feels WEIRD

11:15 PM

alright so i tried the thing where you text someone when youre about to emotionally eat and i gotta say it actually worked?? texted my buddy "dude im about to stress eat an entire pizza" and he called me immediately and we just talked about random stuff for 20 min and by the time we hung up i didnt want the pizza anymore. obviously cant do this every time but damn having someone in your corner makes a difference

04:17 PM

does anyone else have a really complicated relationship with exercise because of emotional eating?? like when i was in my restrict phase exercise was punishment for eating. now im trying to use it as a healthy coping mechanism but my brain still associates it with punishment. went for a run today after an emotional eating episode and the whole time i was thinking "this is your punishment for the cookies" instead of "this is for your mental health." how do i separate the two

01:15 AM

got some bad news today about a buddy from the service. usually this kind of news sends me straight to the drive thru no questions asked. today i sat in my truck in the driveway and just... cried. for like 20 minutes. just let myself feel it. didnt eat. didnt numb. just felt the pain. it was awful and also somehow better than eating through it?? because after the cry i actually felt a tiny bit lighter. after eating i always feel worse. huh. maybe my therapist is onto something

11:17 AM

this is going to sound so small and stupid but i ate 5 chips out of the bag and then CLOSED THE BAG AND PUT IT BACK. i have literally never done that in my entire life. its always been eat until the bag is empty, feel sick, hate myself, repeat. today i ate some chips, enjoyed them, and stopped. i dont even understand how it happened. my hands just... put the bag away. im sitting here staring at the closed pantry in disbelief. please tell me this counts as progress because it feels monumental to me

09:17 PM

ok i know journaling sounds like basic advice that every therapist gives and i rolled my eyes at it for YEARS. but i finally started and omg?? i dont journal about food at all. i just write whatever im feeling before i eat and the patterns are INSANE. every single binge was preceded by either a phone call with my mother or a meeting with my manager. every. single. one. i never wouldve seen this pattern without writing it down. the journal doesnt stop the eating but the awareness is changing everything

06:17 AM

years ago today i joined this group at my absolute lowest point. eating through a divorce, 80lbs overweight, pre diabetic, depressed. i posted something like "will this ever get better" and a bunch of strangers on the internet said yes. so heres my 3 year update: its better. not perfect. never perfect. i still emotionally eat sometimes. maybe once or twice a month instead of daily. i lost 60lbs not through dieting but through healing my relationship with food. im not pre diabetic anymore. i actually ENJOY food now instead of being controlled by it. to everyone whos at day 1 or month 1 or even year 1 and wondering if it gets better: it does. it really really does. just dont quit

10:17 PM

went to a birthday party tonight and for the first time in my LIFE i ate a normal amount of food at a social event. had a slice of cake, some snacks, chatted with people, and just... left. no hiding in the kitchen eating when no one was looking. no going back for 4ths because everyone else was eating. no eating more because i was anxious about what people thought of me. i just ate like a normal person?? i almost dont believe it happened. social eating has been my biggest trigger for 15 years

04:17 AM